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December 10, 2009 Volume 5, Number 48 | ||
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In This
Issue .
Marriage
Matters .
A Little Bit
of Humor. E-Mail
cynthia.davis@house.mo.gov Find me
on
Committees Special
Committee on Children and Families Chair Chair Special Committee on State
Parks and Waterways Official Homepage for Official Government Homepage for your
Look up Missouri House Bills - View Entire Text, Summary, and Last Action Look up Consumer Complaints & Fraudulent Activity, No-Call List Federal
Links Congressman Blaine
Luetkemeyer |
Marriage
Matters
Representative
Cynthia Davis with David Barton, a world renowned historian, at the
Pro-Family Legislative Wallbuilders conference last
month. The
Wallbuilders recently hosted a conference for the state legislators.
While there, we had the opportunity to hear from some of the country's
foremost experts. One idea that was particularly interesting has emerged
into the "Marriage Matters in Missouri Bill". This bill has the
potential of cutting the divorce rate in half in our state. Even if
you have a happy marriage, there is a financial burden borne on all
taxpayers related to our divorce rates, not to mention the emotional toll
divorce takes on children. HB
1234 strengthens
marriages in three ways: 1.)
It
waives part of the marriage license fee if the couple gets premarital
counseling. If people go into the marriage with their eyes wide
open, it may prevent some bad marriages from starting in the first
place. I was surprised to discover that $27 of the marriage license
fee goes toward child abuse and domestic violence shelters. Why
should the innocent citizens who are doing something honorable, moral and
foundational to our civilization be forced to pay for the damage caused by
those who are behaving dishonorably? Statically, people who are
"living together" are more likely to beat up their partners and children
than married people, but they are not being asked to pay for domestic
violence or child abuse. The philosophical premise behind this fee
is insulting to all married people. 2.)
It
allows those who file for divorce an opportunity to get their filing fee
refunded if they change their minds within a year of filing. This
removes a psychological barrier that happens when people start down a
destructive path and then have a financial incentive to continue with
their plans. If the couple decides to reconcile, they should be able
to get a refund. Perhaps they can use that money to attend a
Retrouvaille weekend designed to be
"a lifeline" for marriages or get some counseling.
National Marriage
Institute 3.)
It would
take Regardless
of where you fall on the political spectrum, this should be an issue of
importance to everyone: Michael
Reagan: "Divorce is where two
adults take everything that matters to a child --- the child's home,
family, security and sense of being loved and protected --- and they smash
it all up, leave it in ruins on the floor, then walk out and leave the
child to clean up the mess." Hillary
Clinton: "Recent studies
demonstrate convincingly that while many adults claim to have benefited
from divorce and single parenthood, most children have not. Children
living with one parent or in stepfamilies are two to three times more
likely to have emotional and behavioral problems as children living in
two-parent families. A parent's remarriage often does not seem to better
the odds." Clinical
psychologist, Diane Hopkins-Jones who specializes in
marriage counseling said: "My beliefs are professional and personal,
that conflict can be resolved, especially when there are children.
In fact you have a moral responsibility to resolve them. The optimum
chance for a child's healthy development and spiritual growth is by having
a good enough marriage modeling experience." So with
all our prosperity and education, why does Americans
are self-absorbed and according to freelance writer, Dana Krupinsky "The
American attitude needs to be changed because commitment and
responsibility are becoming second to personal needs."
Divorce-in-America With
"no-fault" divorce all the power belongs to the parent who wants the
marriage to end, yet the one who thinks the marriage is worth saving is
often left with the shortest end of the stick. Courts currently have
no obligation to listen to the case of the spouse who doesn't want to
dissolve the marriage because our laws award the divorce every time
regardless of any facts. Stop and think about this: In a business
partnership if one party breaks the agreement, the judge will usually
impose economic penalties to the side that broke their agreement.
Marriage has far greater importance than a business relationship, yet our
laws allow judges to dissolve them for breach of contract with no
consequences? Under our current laws the innocent spouse can lose
their home, finances and custody of their child / children while the
guilty frequently get to walk away with a check for the marital equity and
very little responsibility for ruining the lives of all the others
involved. If you
need a divorce, don't worry about it becoming too hard. Under my
proposed changes, a family can still get an easy "no fault" divorce
if: a.
There
are no children in the home. b.
Both
husband and wife agree they want to be
divorced. c.
If
adultery, abuse, abandonment, insanity or incarceration are
factors. Christmas
is a particularly lonely time for those who have suffered from the loss of
a spouse regardless of the reason. My heart goes out to you.
It would be ideal if we could correct all the wrongs of the world, but
each marriage is made up of imperfect people and therefore riddled with
its own frustrations and surprises. After 29 years of marriage, my
husband and I still love each other deeply, yet I have a great deal of
compassion for those who are not in happy marriages. According to
the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily
married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their
marriages are happier. You should be encouraged to know the vast
majority of these couples can come out of their difficulties and are once
again satisfied with their marriages. There are benefits to all in
the community when we strengthen our marriages and support them with
policies that encourage stability, greater protection for the innocent and
honor for all. Do
you have a personal experience with an unwanted divorce and think this
bill could have made a difference in the outcome? Your story may be
helpful to the process of finding the best way to legislate changes. You
can share your thoughts with me by clicking
here: Cynthia Davis A Little
Bit of Humor . . . The
Business Executive and Secretary
A
business executive named Witherspoon went on a convention and took along
his secretary. They arrived at the hotel very late in the evening and were
told that all the rooms were taken except one, and it was a single. "No
problem," replied Mr. Witherspoon, "just put a cot in there for me and
we'll share the room. "
This
Capitol Report is a weekly column by Representative Cynthia
Davis, from the
19th District, covering events in the Missouri Legislature and
district-wide issues. ?
If you know anyone who would like to receive my Capitol Report, please
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